Joining UnimeTV & The Mega Life/Writing Update

I actually don’t like writing about myself. I do write a lot about what I feel towards writing and blogging in general throughout 1.5 years of the limitless imagination, but I rarely talk about anything other than what is acutely related to this virtual space and the ani-manga community surrounding it. That’s really because I don’t like to bring anything that is not remotely relevant to the focus of this blog, which had unknowingly become established over time to – anime commentaries, essays, and just lots of posts about having no writing inspiration.

But I figured its probably time to write about one, mostly because I have been in the community for so long and yet I think, people don’t actually know me much. They know only what I write and what I choose to put on here, but I rarely communicate with people about anything outside the context of this blog.

But at this point in time, there are really a few things about my life that I think my readers need to know. I actually thought of skipping out this post because I am so pressed for time at this current point, but I realised there was one less deadline I had to meet and hence I ended up writing this.

Sorry for the wall of text as usual people. Read what you deem important.

I Joined UnimeTV!

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I recently joined the UnimeTV team as a writer. I am pretty grateful and happy to be granted the opportunity to do so especially when the team is already formed for some time and going strong. Why I joined the team was really because I wanted to contribute to a greater cause and be exposed to other ways of collaboration on something that I like to spend time with and write about – rather than merely writing on an individual basis in this space, and what’s better than to help create a global anime social network?

Future changes to my blog direction

Let me start this by stating that I am actually a very practical and pragmatic person. Every single decision I have made in my life is one made as a result of a Cost-Benefit Analysis.

The decision to start this blog was a ‘Eureka!’ type of idea to a long term concern I have had, and it was only instinctive in action, but not in intention. As I have previously mentioned in other posts, I don’t have anybody in real life around me to share or talk about my love for anime with. I spent at least 2 to 3 years on MAL talking to random people, but there was not really a platform for my opinions as they just got drowned in the crowd, and the friendships there were very fleeting. I did not feel I was genuinely connecting with anime fans at all.

That was the initial reason, and also because I felt that a blog would mean a permanent space on the web for me to inhabit, to call mine, and to ‘leave a legacy’ of sorts.

When I started writing more and realised there was actually a very small community here, with people who actually comment and check back for replies, somehow I found that those reasons were not exactly enough to keep me going. Don’t get me wrong, its people, you guys, some whom I would call friends, who enable me to maintain a genuine heartfelt emotional bond/connection to this platform.

But it was really because I realised I was also trying to achieve a goal, an ambition of sorts. It was to help myself. To help me.

Throughout my whole life, I suffered from extremely low self-esteem. I used to think that it was only related to my appearances, but later I realised that it stemmed from something more fundamental – my intellectual capability. I have always been a relatively hardworking person, but my traditional Asian Chinese upbringing also meant that there was a dearth of compliments given to me, no matter how well I did on every aspect – grades, music, behaviour. I saw how my elders and relatives compliment me on my achievements and then, like an afterthought, add that it was only because I worked so hard but I was actually “not smart”. (the ‘polite’ way, in Chinese mannerisms, to say ‘dumb’ or ‘stupid’). I was taught to dismiss every compliment that was given to me as the person just being ‘nice’ or polite, or having some other motive, and this is something I still do today.

So it was really a surprise to me when I received my first compliment here. Those started to push me to do more, and to challenge more unconventional ways of thinking, putting them down and organising those thoughts into posts. I started writing longer because I want to write down as many developed thoughts as possible, and expand on them to show how much thinking went into them. (My posts end up covering 75% of my thoughts, but definitely not all.)

But the catch is that those posts take up a lot of time to write. I usually don’t write drafts and finish an entire post in one sitting, in order to save on the cumulative amount of time I spend on the blog, but even I realise that is not enough. Add that to the fact that I have a poor memory on the details of anime, and to write any form of analysis or commentary at the level I have been writing meant that sometimes I had to read all episodic synopses again or I even have to rewatch the anime because episodic impressions or reviews do not cover some details. (I forget fast. Like with the next anime episode.) (FYI: I took 12 hours to write that Your Lie in April commentary because I had to read synopses, rewatch some episodes, think – all because it had been 8 months since I finished it. I rewatched Eupho & wrote that Eupho piece when I was on episode 9.  That cross-cultural analysis was possible because it is a topic close to my heart – arguably the closest because its what I always discuss with my mum.)

So it comes back to the Cost-Benefit Analysis. Yes, some of the benefits are non-quantifiable – like being able to know that I can write posts like those, and being able to just use commonsense, logic-based arguments as my basic writing style satisfies me intellectually. But I also know that the thing that drives me is both pride from past ‘glories’ of writing and that need to boost my terribly low self-esteem.

I would not say those needs are a thing of the past, but they rank lower on my priority ladder now that I proceed into the next stage of life. After all, university education has helped to a certain extent in proving to myself what I can do. Hence, I don’t think it is necessary to maintain the type of length in posts even though it seems to have become a quality I am associated with. That’s especially when I am only going to get busier. Admittedly, I have also noticed that my blog’s readership is not expanding the way I want it to – or that I haven’t been getting the comments I need. (Not necessarily blaming anybody or anything, but its a fact that I take into account.)

Hence, from now on, I am going to broaden my blog’s scope. That means that I will no longer be exclusively doing long posts. There are still some anime essay-like topics I want to write about, so those would inevitably be long because I do not like to compromise on argument quality and quantity. But I may end up venturing into posts like my Sakurazawa (Diamond no Ace) oneposts that focus on specific events or thematic focus in an anime series, or even informally written seasonal impressions. (That was only 1000 words by the way.) If I feel particularly inspired about an anime (e.g. like Eupho) I would write a long one, but it depends on how much I am inspired by and the time I have.

My Quarter Life Crisis

Moving on to what I deem as the other ‘necessary life updates’,  I swear they are related to the above. Why? Because for the past six months, I had actually been relatively free, but I was not very motivated to watch or write about anime in any sense (hence the lack of posts, still) because I was just content with sitting there, doing nothing, and worrying about the future. I pondered about what I wanted to do with my life, what I should do at this point in time, and what I needed to do. Even when I thought of my blog, my thoughts centered around: what do I want to achieve with my blog? Why do I continue to write about anime? 

It was a quarter-life crisis of sorts, and I have actually contemplated quitting writing about anime altogether  or simply disappearing off the face of the WordPress earth. But that phase passed and it culminated in my decision to join UnimeTV and to switch my pre-established writing style, which may seem like a 180 degree switch from my thoughts. However, I realised it was ultimately because I wanted a new experience of some sort, and I seem to have reached a milestone with writing on my personal blog, since, as I have mentioned above, I no longer feel the constant need to prove myself and then taking up too much effort while doing that.

Life Updates

Oh and by the way, I graduated from university – from law school. Technically I have not had the ceremony yet because its all still in processing, and to be honest I don’t really feel a sense of accomplishment (perhaps due to lingering self-esteem issues). But I also know that IT HAS BEEN TOUGH. It was torture especially for my first two years which was why I did not start writing then. It was grueling, it was harsh, there were tears involved, anger, frustration, a lot of unfairness and I almost quit together with some of my course mates because of how uncompromising grades are, and how competitive it was because everybody is at least smart and 90% of them are smarter. Even though it was not entirely my own choice to go there, I am glad I went and got an education that opened the doors of my mind. I am grateful.

I am also going on a ‘grad trip’ to Hokkaido, Japan and flying off in a few days (I’ll probably announce this on Twitter again). Its a short trip because its only a week or so, because I don’t have much money and I don’t like to go on long trips and then having to be stuck in this country for the next x amount of years, saving up for the next. But woohoo! Its still a break!

This concludes my updates. Thanks for reading through this entire convoluted, informally written thing, or if you haven’t that’s fine as well. 😉 I apologise for being late in responding to WordPress comments here, but I’ll do so on my trip, which consists of lots of waiting and travelling. As usual, feel free to like or comment 🙂 And do check us out at UnimeTV if you haven’t already, we’ve got lots in store for you! 😉

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24 thoughts on “Joining UnimeTV & The Mega Life/Writing Update

  1. First I want to say congratulations on graduating from Law School, that is no easy feat! I know a bunch of people in Law School right now and I have heard the stories, so it’s awesome that you finished!!

    Do you have any jobs set up for after graduation? I know you probably get that question a lot, but I’m also post graduation job hunting so I know how it is.

    This was an awesome post and I look forward to more of your writing in the future! You are an amazing blogger and an inspiration! 😁

    PS. I am so jelly about your upcoming trip! 😛

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thanks! It was indeed a tough ride haha.
      Hmm, for now, I am not hunting for jobs yet haha. I still have to study further for half a year post-law school, as part of training. 🙂
      Aw haha, I am glad you enjoyed this post that I kind of haphazardly put together 😅 thank you for the kind words ^^
      Hehe, it takes lots of saving up haha 😛

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Congrats on the position with UnimeTV! That’s so cool. And congrats on graduating law school.
    Well, you know have us! All your faithful readers. You can totally fangirl out on us. Total thumbs up to this.
    I’m pretty new to your blog, but I love it already. I can’t wait for what happens next!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Hello! Thank you! And welcome to my blog hehe 😁
      That’s exactly what I need to hear! Support for more fangirling posts so I can write them knowing there are people looking forward to them 😆 I hope that I live up to your expectations! 🙂

      Like

  3. Congratulations on joining Unime TV and also Law School :D! I just graduated too, so I can relate to that feeling of being a bit lost afterwards – it’s like you spend so many years having a goal to achieve good grades and go through the education system and then you’re done and you gotta find a new goal :/ But yeah have an awesome trip in Japan – you definitely deserve the break. Are you going to blog about your experiences while you’re over there :)?

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thanks! ^^ Yep, apparently anxiety of this sort is pretty normal especially after being used to a type of goal for many years and having to switch xD
      Yep! Haha I don’t think I will be blogging because I am a little too lazy. It’s likely that most things are just going to be on Twitter ^^

      Like

  4. Law school, eh? What an analytical profession. I’m sure that whatever branch of it you decide to undertake as a living, you’ll be darn good at it. Also, congrats on Unime TV! It takes guts to get a blog out there and stay on top of things, but then to join another team of writers and manage both sides? That’s crazy . . . crazy awesome.
    Alright, now for what I wanted to talk about — that shift in blogging that you’ve encountered. I could make this another comment series where we discuss back and forth on how “we’ve taken breaks from writing or blogging,” but for you, it seems that a lack of wanting to watch anime went with that. Hopefully the future seems a little clearer for you, and that you’ve found another interesting home (and esteem booster) with Unime, cause I would hate to lose another fellow blogger (especially someone exquisite as yourself), and it would be even more tragic if you fell out with anime altogether.
    I’ve spent the last week reading up on the several thousand posts (many from mirrorpurple XD) and leaving my comments with them, and you’re next! In fact, when I first started doing this, I was just going to go back on the wordpress reader and sift down until it wouldn’t show any older posts. Then I recalled your Eupho post, and that I read it, but never commented. So I made it an effort to visit each of the blog sites themselves and catch up, in hopes that I’d eventually be reunited with your Eupho post 😀
    May your Hokkaido trip be everything you hope it to be and more. If Diamond Daydreams has taught me anything, it’s that miracles of love and wisdom occur in Hokkaido. As to if any of that is true, pfft, who knows, haha!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Also, don’t let those long posts bring you down, or that you think people will only read the short stuff. I have found such a strong voice in your essay-like posts and very interesting ideas in your analysis posts. Whether short or long, you can count on me to be a reader and often a fellow commenter. ^.^

      Liked by 1 person

    • Haha well, I do hope to make the right choice ultimately.
      Thanks, and you are right on the ‘guts’ xD I am secretly wondering how I am going to make it all work – keeping to two blogging schedules, but if there’s anything I have learnt, it’s to stop thinking and start doing so that I’d at least have a chance of being successful. And thus … Here I am!
      Exactly, I do hope it will be clearer for me. It seems to be tied in with my current point in my life – graduation, starting ‘adult’ life – making it hard to just sit back and enjoy the moment as in watching an anime. I think it’s a pity to drop out of anime as well especially when I haven’t written nearly as enough as many of the writers here!
      Thanks for making the effort to keep up with all our posts, especially mine which can really be long and a test of patience 🙂 it’s rare that bloggers do that, and it has almost become a welcome trademark of yours 🙂
      Oh yes, I see your comment on my Eupho post! I’ll get to it asap, I always end up underestimating the time that I take to get to my comments :p
      Thank you! That’s a pretty interesting saying haha. I do hope more miracles happen though xD Thanks for the well wishes 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      • I’m sure it’ll all work out. Just doing things rather than thinking too much about them is starting to become an ongoing theme for me. Perhaps it’s that I’m starting to care less about how people will react, and more about how much something means to me alone. Like all this blogging stuff, for example. ‘Adult’ life must suck eggs, but as long as you stay committed to the things you love (and afford a living blahblahblah), it’ll all be peachy.
        Have I now been seen as that kind of blogger? Aww, I’m kinda flattered. I try to make an effort to at least stay caught up with the ever-flowing crowd!
        You’re very welcome, have lots of fun~!

        Liked by 1 person

  5. AHHHHHHH shirt was so nice to finally hear some of your inner feelings and that you were comfortable to share them with everyone on here. Sounds like you’ve made some big decisions for yourself and unime was a big one I know 😊😊 I think you’ll do smashing in the team and very excited to have you on there my dear.

    Hope you enjoy your grad Trip !! 😊

    Liked by 1 person

    • Haha yes it took a lot of thinking on my part and I finally decided to do it 🙂 Unime was definitely quite a big decision ^^ I hope that we would have some great times in the team ahead hehe :3
      Thank you!!! ^^

      Liked by 1 person

  6. Congratulations for graduating from law school! I’ve read about how hard it is because at some point I was considering going into law (not anymore).

    You should write about your trip if you’re thinking of writing other things aside from just anime. Your other hobbies are great as well because when writing a blog posts feels like work and you’re supposed to be doing it to enjoy yourself (unless you’re doing it as a small job or small cut of income), it would really suck. =(

    But have fun on your trip!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thanks! Ooh nice, why did you not decide on it in the end?
      Haha writing about my trip is something I am considering in the event I don’t have enough brain juice to write about anything else xD what you said is true, it’s important to enjoy blogging especially when it’s supposed to be a hobby.
      Thanks, I will! ^^

      Like

  7. Congratulations in graduating, joining Unime, and have fun on your trip! ヽ(*⌒∇⌒*)ノ
    I definitely understand, I quit blogging for two years, I’m not really satisfied with my writing or delivery, and I think it’s totally good to have goals you want to achieve, and that motivate. I think you’re really smart and very well spoken, and I love seeing your thought posts. I can see how well thought they’re, and how much research and insight you have.
    I hope you’ve fun expanding your blog, and I’m looking forward to it! (≧∇≦)/

    Liked by 1 person

    • Hehe thanks!!!
      I used to have a personal blog as well and quit blogging on and off. This is actually one of my longest blogs lol. Yep, I however have to learn how to balance between having goals vs not overloading myself as well.
      Thanks!! I am grateful that you enjoy these posts haha.
      Thanks for the support you have given 🙂 I greatly appreciate it hehe :3

      Like

      • ( ´ ▽ ` )ノ
        I’ve had a of of blogs over the years, but I just never could stick to it. I would start very pumped and fizzle out in weeks/few months (>y<)
        Oh yeah, balance is hard to achieve. This February, because of returning to blogging, I was writing blog posts every day, multiple ones sometimes, and couldn’t keep up. I had to get real about what I can do/feel like doing, so now thankfully I scheduled things till next year (*^▽^*)
        I really do, plus it helps you’re really nice and sweet ヽ(*≧ω≦)ノ
        Always here to see more ( ˘ ³˘)❤

        Liked by 1 person

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