A Valentine’s Post: To All Singles and My Beloved Readers

Today is Valentine’s Day. Today is a day when half of us rejoice and half of us snuggle on the couch with a bag of chips, with our TV tuned in to Netflix or our computers set up to our trustiest online anime streaming channel.

Today is Valentine’s Day. Today is a day for pairs, not singles.

Amidst all the fanfare, flowers and Facebook usies/smugies, some of the singles laugh their non-coupled status off with memes, gifs, bachelor’s parties and ladies’ nights. Some of the other singles go about their day as per normal, ignoring the pangs of wistfulness that inevitably surface due to the overwhelming pink, warm and fluffy atmosphere everywhere that can’t possibly be ignored.

There is a small fraction of us that feel the loneliness creep in deeper than others. It affects our mood in some way or another, either resulting in premature PMS-ing or random bouts of self-doubt and self-consciousness. When night approaches, this feeling is intensified for some of us, as we start to mope about our sad state of affairs –  Why is everybody else so happily coupled and in love, and I am not?  Is there something wrong with me?

Today’s post is dedicated to this group of people, even though most people will not admit that they feel like that sometimes. Despite knowing that these things are merely a matter of time, or the plans of a Higher Being, or simply a matter of fate or destiny.

But you know what? Its okay. Its okay to admit that you are, we are, I am, feeling lonely, or as alone as ever.

What’s more important is what we can and are going to do about it.

Its natural to feel lonely when we are alone. At least we are not the people who feel lonely in a crowd of people. At least we chose, at this point in time, the company of ourselves, over people who don’t understand us, and are there for the booze & laughs.

There are four categories of singles, . The first category contains the ones who admit out loud that they are lonely, and they want romantic company in the form of a boyfriend or girlfriend, just somebody to snuggle with under the covers with. And they are not afraid to speak up on their respective social media platforms, screaming “WHY DO I NOT HAVE A BOYFRIEND(GIRLFRIEND)? *SOBS*”

Personally, I admire their courage to speak their hearts out loud. Their ability to be true to their lonely hearts, to be who they are, is admirable. To these people, I say. “Go ahead and try as much as you can, fall as hard as you can, and move on from rejection as fast as you can.” Your fate is in your hands, and you have the power to change it.

The second category of people are the ones who neither hide nor shout out their want of company to the world. They do consciously think that they are taking as much action they can to try to change that situation, but are limited by practical circumstances like living in a small area, experiencing social anxiety, having a shy personality. To these people, I say. “Are you really trying hard enough? Do you merely sit in your house waiting for Prince Charming or Princess (?) to fall from the sky?” Start online. Go somewhere. Step out of your comfort zone. Start from making friends. You don’t have to aim too far at one time. One step at a time is enough. If you fail today, try again tomorrow. Give up when it causes more pain than happiness to you.

The third category of persons are the ones who silently avoid the topic of dating at all costs, either still recovering from a past relationship or romantic encounter, or just have a low self-esteem in general. To these people, I empathise with your pain. But to truly believe that there is nobody out there for you is, excuse my bluntness, utter bullshit. I don’t personally advocate for blind faith that there is a perfect all-rounded partner for everyone, and neither do I believe in the idea of a soulmate for everybody. Give or take, compromise and accept, and somebody will love and care for you for who you are, together with your flaws.

The fourth category contains the ones who just want to enjoy singlehood and want to avoid being a relationship because they are not in the mood or ready to commit. To these people, I salute you for having the mental strength and fortitude to consciously choose to be single every single day. YOLO, enjoy life, love whoever you want or not love whoever you want, and don’t give a shit about what other people say. You live your own life, your own way.

But something that I want to say to all of us singles is that it is okay to be single. Its okay to wait for a somebody that is right for you and whom you would know that its right for you. Don’t give in to societal pressure and the gossipy tongues of others behind your back. This is especially for the ones living in a conservative society where being single past a certain age is viewed as an societal anomaly, and for the vulnerable young adults in a society where being ‘coupled’ is no longer a matter of your self, but just a way conforming with the fad of being ‘coupled’ so that you are not ‘left out’.

I can tolerate those who ask me “Why are you single?” I can laugh it off or ignore when people ask “Did you not try hard enough?” or “Did you just say ‘no’ to all the guys?” I can close one eye to certain persons with authority in my life, saying offhandedly but not unkindly “You’re a girl. You’re just gonna get married and have kids and then become a housewife.” (Because some of the older generation are still conservative in thinking. I accept that, being in my society.) I can choose not to agree or disagree with male friends, with girlfriends, answering the first question for me. “The good ones are attached and the single ones are … weird.” (I have no idea what to say to that, anyway.)

But I personally cannot tolerate the ones who tell people who get attached, saying “Congratulations!” and then gossiping to their inner circle of friends “Finally someone that wants him/her.” Or the ones, who, when they learn that a girl is single, saying “Oh my god, I am so sorry for stepping on a landmine. It must be hard, being single.”, and entirely dismissing the possibility of her as a Category 4 person.

But even so, societal trends or responses are something that you can choose to ignore. What doesn’t kill us makes us stronger, so if you can take it all in your stride, half the battle is won. Take as much time as you need to focus on yourself if you need it, and don’t let some unconcerned, big-mouthed or non well-meaning person ruin the courage you display in being alone at this point.There’s a time and place for everything.

Remember that there are other kinds of love as well. People and living things who love you unconditionally, no matter what. Your family, your pet, your group of homies, your best friend, your small group of friends, the stray cat that you feed, the people that you help.

I don’t know where ‘online friends’ fit into all this, but I admit that online friends are important to me, even if I disappear sometimes off the online world and reply to messages late. Even if I am a loser for placing online friends so high on the priority list, I don’t care, and I am gonna walk my talk.

So here’s to all of you online dwellers who have touched my life:

LitaKino

justanotheranimefan

OtakuRui

chibimajo

renxkyoko

nikochin

FabledHunter

wakuwafu

josefcd

Lovely

Lehzalee

Lzerb

Arria Cross

Keatle

The Otaku Judge

Lyn

mirrorpurple

Alex

CheesyJ

OG-Man

The Animeted Critics

Mangataku-kun

Jamie

Rocco

TwiceAlive

fiddletwix

jiraiyan

Sunite

ignite19

Takuto

ravenfern

animated

Ka-chan

blackhole479

Crimson

sindyblue10

kurosama238

krystallina

nerdultlife

allthefujoshiunite

Sebbo

An Asia Admirer

DriggerV

jeffreybotah

Michael

ninetybeats

Matthew

delaneysloane

Row

Rose Regine

pokeninja90

and newcomers Annabeth, Security Guard and kira0130

I know it sounds super cheesy, and I know that some of you may not read this, but remember that I love you all ❤ ❤ ❤ *hugs*

Happy Valentines’ Day to all of you, whether you are celebrating it in pairs or alone or with a bunch of good friends. This was just a little something that I thought I wanted to write for you guys as my readers, and also for myself. Also, what I wrote above are merely my personal views, and in no way do I mean any offense to anybody. Hope you enjoyed this not-so-short piece, and have a great and happy rest of the day and week ahead! (while I dive back into studying lol.)

 

 

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76 thoughts on “A Valentine’s Post: To All Singles and My Beloved Readers

  1. Hey I’m in your post, thank you for mentioning me ^^! Happy Valentines Day and I hope you have a good day. I am single but I will not let it bother me because I have friends and family who care about me. Once again, Happy Valentine’s Day from the bottom of my heart and may God bless you❤

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Awwe. Sweet! Thank you Shiroyuni. ❤ You're one of my first friends in here and that makes me more glad to be single and fall under the 4th category. 😉 Cheers to all the single ladies (and gents) out there! Happy Valentine's Day!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Hey Shiro. Cute post.
    I must say, I am surprised and flattered to have been mentioned in your piece. Thank you very much, I really appreciate it. You have been a close blogging friend for a time now, so I am glad my words seem to make you happy as well.
    I wish you the best in all your endeavors Shiro,
    and from one single to another,
    Happy Valentines Day!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you TwiceAlive ^^ You have been a good blogging friend to me as well, and your presence on WordPress makes this small online community a better one 🙂
      Best wishes to you as well, and hope you are having/had a great Valentines Day too! 😀

      Like

  4. Oh my, i’m so happy when i saw my name on this post. Thanks for including me to you circle of online friends! You are part of mine too. 😉 And such a nice topic you have! Couples/Love is the subject of most articles i read during Valentines but you tackled singles instead. I belong to the fourth category, btw, no kidding.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Hehe you’re very much welcome! 😀 And yay! Glad to know that ^^
      Haha I admit I was strolling through post after post of couples and love and romance anime, but I thought – hey! Someone should write something for the singles as well! And so this post was conceived ^^
      That’s awesome haha! Its great to be sure in what you want ;D I don’t claim to fall squarely within any category myself, I tend to oscillate based on general phases of moods and circumstances xD

      Liked by 1 person

      • Oh, so that’s how you came up with the topic. I’m thinking that maybe you’ve had enough of love posts, lol.
        Hearing other people’s love lives and watching/reading anything romantic is nice but i can’t imagine myself being lovey dovey (lol) with someone. Or maybe i just got used to being alone.

        Liked by 1 person

      • Hahaha when it comes to occasions like this I always think the singles are too under-represented.
        Yeah my attitude is the same as yours actually. Romantic stories whether real or fiction are nice and all, and I actually like romance as a genre. But I don’t put myself into the shoes of any character or person at all. Its just me admiring an object of beauty on the side. xD
        It may be well because we are too used to being alone haha. I don’t deny that possibility. I sometimes still experiences pangs of loneliness, but they behave like hunger pangs hahaha.

        Liked by 1 person

      • There should be a day for singles too. Haha.
        Romance, as a genre will always be popular. It just don’t get old. I am just admiring beauty as well. Never thought of being the beauty itself. xD Well, i’ve been by myself for a long time so being alone is just natural. I do feel lonely at times but never on the aspect of romance. It’s either regarding friendship or family.

        Liked by 1 person

      • There actually is a day for singles in China, on 11 Nov every year haha. There’s a lot of sales on that day LOL. Too bad the rest of the world doesn’t have that.
        (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Singles%27_Day)

        Haha yepp, we have the same attitude. I do feel lonely sometimes with regards to the romance aspect, but I have to say that I feel waaay more for the friendship aspect haha. I mostly do things alone as well 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

      • Really? It would be really nice if that’s celebrated around the world. Oh and i just found out that there’s day is a ‘Singles Awareness Day’ during February 15. It’s just sad that the acronym is S.A.D. xD
        Yup, friends are becoming more distant as technology evolves. Everyone’s so busy with their phones and social networking. Well, that’s not something for me to say though. >.>

        Liked by 1 person

      • Hahaha, then it would have passed already, for me (Feb 15). LOL yeah, kind of ironic though haha.
        Yeah its actually terrible lol. I don’t think I am a bad person but somehow I just keep losing friends …… for reasons like technology and ‘having no time’. Then after that it gets awkward to rekindle the friendship … sigh. ><

        Like

      • We should’ve known it earlier but i doubt that i would do anything special for that day. Haha.
        With my old friends, the major factor is actually the distance and during times like that, a form of communication w/c uses technology is great to have. When you’re just far away from each other things really go awkward.

        Liked by 1 person

      • Haha yeah I agree. I think it should be celebrated at least as commercially and socially as V Day is though.
        Ah I see. I assume your university is far away from where you originally were from? That’s what I gather from what you say anyway. 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

      • Yup, that’d be good.. at least for us. xD
        It’s far, yes. About 3 hours by bus. I’m not very close with my childhood friends now coz i rarely go home. I don’t even communicate with them other than greeting each other whenever we meet somewhere.

        Liked by 1 person

      • Wow 3 hours is pretty far. So its pretty understandable compared to me where travel distance is very short, but people are even lazier to meet up. Its sad really. I think my current friends are more ‘circumstantial’ or more of companionship than anything else. Is it like that currently for you as well?

        Liked by 1 person

      • It’s like that in a way. Most of my current friends are like me who likes to stay at home than go out so we don’t really meet often outside of class (they’re my classmates). In our class, our group is called the KJ group. Haha.

        Liked by 1 person

      • HAHAHA SAMEEE. My friends basically rather talk online even though we are less than 1.5 hours of travel apart lol. And okay I admit its my fault as well because I like staying home >>>> going out as well. Don’t we all 😉 What’s KJ haha!

        Liked by 1 person

      • I am seriously at fault too. As you may know, i really love my laptop and i rarely leave it. It’s not like that with my phone coz i always ignore it. Whenever my friends messages me, it’s either i reply really late or i don’t bother reading them. If you include the fact that i don’t like going out much, we don’t really communicate that much at all. xD
        KJ is killjoy. Hahaha.

        Liked by 1 person

      • Tbh, same here. My studying is done 90% on the laptop so my laptop is on throughout the day, into the night, and during class. AND I ALWAYS IGNORE MY PHONE TOO HIGH FIVE.

        Lol I can’t believe there’s somebody with the same habits I have. I always reply to messages late as well and I am not really ‘on the ball’. I don’t like going out at all because tbh my country doesn’t have much to do outside haha. Ohhh I see so you often turn down ppl’s requests to hang out? xD I do that sometimes too but I .. try … not .. to nowadays because I mean I don’t want to turn into a hikikomori without noticing lol.

        Liked by 1 person

      • Wow, we really have lots in common. Yay for that! Well, the things i can do on my phone, i can also do on my laptop.. i don’t often text or call someone anyways. I’m not in a city and our place is literally in the foot of a mountain. It’s actually pretty lively though, lots of hang out spots coz there are lots of students living here.
        Yup, just not interested in hanging out that much. Maybe i’ll try to go out more when i finish university. I don’t want to be a hikikomori as well. 😀

        Liked by 1 person

      • Haha exactly! Anyway there’s stuff like web whatsapp, and plenty of apps and social media …… to communicate so technically a phone isn’t that useful. O.O wow that sounds kind of really far from the city. Even if its like a massive student quarter xD But there should be lots of parties or stuff like that right? You’ve plenty of opportunities to un-hikikomorize yourself xD I don’t have these things here, so its a little hard when its the last year and people are more MIA than ever haha.

        Liked by 1 person

      • Yes, and most of those sns aren’t really to my liking so i left them and my phone alone. Haha. It’s not very far from the city though. About one hour and the residents are mostly well-off people. Yeah, lots of parties happen here but always with alcohol present so no way! Haha, my trauma. Well, i hope you find ways to unhikikomorize xD yourself. I’ll find other ways than partying too. Lol.

        Liked by 1 person

      • Haha yeah same. Like I always find FB messenger annoying so I have permanently deleted it xD
        Ahhh I see. So it’s a well to do area. Oh hahah aren’t there any ‘normal’ gatherings? I can’t take much alcohol myself but luckily activities around here aren’t always alcohol centric xD haha yeah I took the first step in doing that by planning to go on a nature trail tomorrow lol. That’s legitimately getting myself outdoors :3

        Liked by 1 person

      • Ugh, fb messenger is certainly annoying. I hate that it indicates when a message had been ‘seen.’ I would have to reply to it immediately even when i want to do it later. 😦
        Yup. Well, there are school-related gatherings like organization assemblies, team buildings or some friendly sports games, fun runs, etc. but i don’t often go as well. Mostly it’s because of the crowd or i feel that i would be left out coz i am basically an introvert. Nature trail is nice! If we have gatherings like that here, i would probably go. 😀

        Liked by 1 person

      • OMG yes I hate the ‘seen’ thing. Absolutely. And you can’t turn it off like you can in Whatsapp. It pressures me to reply it asap as well gah, and that’s why I don’t like it. :/

        What all those sound like nice enough things. Though I can understand if you’re lazy to go. :3 My school has loads of that stuff as well but I don’t often go. Because I like having more meaningful connections with people are sports games, fun runs, loud people often is a contest of who speaks louder, faster, and more. Quieter people like me get slowly ignored in a group, and I hate that kind of feeling.

        Yep, it was nice to get out 🙂 And there weren’t too many people so I was able to talk to new people, which is something that I know I must do (and I like to do) once in a while 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

      • Yup, and messenger pops up in my phone all of a sudden so i don’t have a choice but to ‘see’ the message.
        I am just really lazy in going to such activities. With assemblies, i feel really bored. I also don’t like it when i’m forced to do something during such activities. I’d just go into a corner and listen to music so no one bothers me. And when that happens, i think it’s just better to go home. I’m also not good at doing sports and marathons/fun runs. I’ve always been at home so my stamina won’t hold out. I actually play volleyball back in high school but i stopped when i got into college.
        That’s good. It looks like you’ve had fun. If it was me, i might just wait until other people approach me before i talk to someone. I’m not really not one to approach strangers unless it’s really necessary.

        Liked by 1 person

      • Haha yeah especially when people know you’ve got the messenger app when they see the phone icon appear next to your name on the chatbox … >.>
        I think the fun is probably in you wanting to sign up. I don’t think we like anything that’s forced upon us. I used to feel that way too – like I don’t wanna talk, I just want to be alone xD Oh wow, at least you played some sports then? I have never joined a sports team in my life. And then started regretting it when I watched Haikyuu and I was like crap I can’t get my high school life back anymore xD

        Ah yes, I am generally like that too. I don’t usually strike up conversations even though I would say I know how to. I am just extremely passive that way xD

        Liked by 1 person

      • Yup, that too! Actually when i open fb on my laptop, the first thing i do is turn off chat. xD
        Maybe i also want to try and see if i will like it or not. But there are some school-related activities here we are required to attend. I really don’t like most of them coz we are being forced to go. Yup, i’m more active during grade school and high school. I remember i even joined lots of clubs/organizations and i don’t hate crowds back then. Everything just turned 180 degrees during college, lol. Haikyuu also made me want to play again but my friends are actually afraid of volleyball so i didn’t have someone to play with.
        I guess those really extroverted people can easily do that. I just can’t, maybe because i don’t often talk to other people. I am extremely passive too. xD

        Liked by 1 person

      • Haha wow, that irritates you that much huh. I oscillate between manually turning off chat, and just letting it be there, because I know that only truly ignoring it shows that you aren’t affected by its presence xD
        Ah I get what you mean. I hate anything that’s forced on me, but when its something voluntary that I sign up for I usually like it a lot better. Wow, that sounds like you had some active teenage years. Is it due to something that happened though that your mindset changed? 😡 Ah man, that sucks ><

        Haha yeah they definitely can. Which is why I am often envious of extroverted people, they can do things like these so effortlessly lol. xD

        Liked by 1 person

      • I just don’t like it when people see that i’m online. They will chat with me and i cannot not reply coz they know i’m there. I don’t open my fb account that often though. Just that there are some class announcements that i can only find there.
        I was really active then but i am already introverted inside. I can’t remember what exactly happened but maybe i just had enough of an active lifestyle. It’s actually really tiring and i always have a lot to think of. I think i mentioned before that i was a school leader and all the responsibilities takes up too much of my time. Can’t say i really enjoyed it very much.
        Yup, not like i can play volleyball on my own and looking for playmates is a pain. x_x
        They can approach anyone easily so they have a lot of friends and connections. That can be an advantage in certain situations too.

        Liked by 1 person

      • Haha yeah exactly that’s one of the main reasons I am actually still using facebook. Because there are announcements and info that’s only disseminated through FB groups.

        Haha maybe you were introverted and you felt burnt out or something. Well at least you tried. I didn’t really push myself in that extent last time and I am sort of regretting it, even though I do know I am introverted and it would probably zap all my energy >< You can't play it alone. Haha yeah well in terms of connections, extroverted people have it easier for them xD

        Liked by 1 person

      • Well, most people have an account there so it’s really easy to disseminate info. I think so too. I think i already had enough of the semi-extrovert life. Haha. You can still start now, and if you liked it you may continue or if you don’t then stop. 🙂 Yup, it’s a team game. 😦

        Liked by 1 person

      • Haha yep. I think FB is also sort of going out of popularity .. people still have accounts but they don’t necessarily use them much xD
        Haha yeah I do have some plans to try that sort of life out, just to see how I’ll feel about it. OO btw haha I was just talking to Rose Regine over on Twitter about volleyball cos she plays volleyball too xD

        Liked by 1 person

      • I might be one of those, and some of my friends as well. I always see the same faces there coz people are taking selfies almost everyday. -_-
        Tell me how it goes if you ever try. 🙂 Oh really? Looks like were also alike in that area. I also found out that we have the same tastes with manwhas. Hahaha!

        Liked by 1 person

      • Yeah, my fb account has been very active during our tour tho. My classmates tag me to every picture i have with them. Haha. My newsfeed is full of tour pictures and it’s not so bad this time.
        Yup! We like the same manwhas and it’s awesome. XD

        Liked by 1 person

      • Ohh right I forgot you went on a tour! It always happens that way haha. How was it? 🙂 yeah at least pictures of places is a lot better then seeing the same faces close up again and again haha 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

      • It’s been fun, the sidetrips more than the main plant tour. I think i’ve taken the most number of pictures in this tour if compared to the other events in my life. Travelling is just <3. XD

        Liked by 1 person

      • Haha I see, like the ‘rest and recreation’ part of the itinerary? Was it a local overnight trip? 🙂 that’s nice to hear. It means you are really enjoying yourself!

        (Btw I think the second half of the message seems to be cut off? Haha)

        Liked by 1 person

      • Nice, that’s a good duration for a trip 🙂
        OH haha its because that part doesn’t show on the WordPress notifications column. I had to check the actual comment on the page itself to see the entire message. I agree I really love travelling myself too !!! 😀

        Liked by 1 person

  5. HAPPY VALENTINE’S DAY! Keep studying hard (i just had like 5 typos in this sentence OTL) and thanks for the awesome v-day post~ I can’t decide which category I fall into, haha

    awesome nerds gotta stick together >:D *virtual hug*

    Liked by 1 person

    • Woots! Happy Valentine’s Day to you too crimson!! Ahaha I am, but I also decided to come up here xD And you’re welcome, I enjoyed writing this!
      I don’t claim to fall squarely into any category either, but yessss I totally agree with that xD *virtual hugs back*

      Liked by 1 person

  6. AWWW…. Gosh… I got teary eyed… >////< *virtual hug*

    I envy you because you were able to post something like this.. hahaha! Thank you for the mention.. I like the way how you explained the thing of being single.. I also believe that "There’s a time and place for everything." ❤

    I LOVE YOU TOO AWESOME NERD! I am lucky to be included on your list. Cheers to more years of blogging and friendship. I treasure my blogger friends too.. ❤ ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    • Awwwww somehow I am very happy to know that you teared :’) That means my writing made a more permanent impression on somebody haha ^^
      Ohhh but why? Haha. I was just merely listing out the types of singles in a factual way .. I think xD Its all my opinion of course :p No problem, you deserved the mention! Yep, we should keep believing in that, and meanwhile enjoy life on our own ^^

      Liked by 1 person

  7. I enjoyed this post, it’s so relevant because there’s so much pressure on people to be in relationships when they should just be allowed to live their lives. I really appreciate that you put me on your list 🙂 I look forward to reading more of your posts and interacting with you more.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. …I…made the list…
    YESSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!
    I absolutely love this post, and that especially means something considering that I usually skim through V-Day posts (no offense to others, but yeah). It seems I’m always late to the party, but Shiroyuni, friend, I hope you had a grand Valentine’s Day. Of all people, especially you, because you have such a strong blogging voice that speaks for us that mumble silently (such as myself). Being single is a lonely job, ya know? But it allows me to get to know someone I should really love more often. Myself.
    Cheesy post? Who gives a damn!! Sing it, gurl~!

    Liked by 2 people

    • Aww Takuto you never needed to worry, you’re a permanent member of this list!! 😀

      Haha I am glad you loved it ^^ I thought that something a little different for V day would be good, and singles are always a neglected audience especially on such occasions. I am glad that in your eyes I have managed to speak for the rest of us singles 😀 I hope you had a great Valentines’ as well (I think you did, with your anime marathons anyway :p) Annnd you have summarized exactly what I want singles to take away from this. It means that I have succeeded. Yay! ^^

      Glad you don’t mind the dose of extra cheese~ and thanks for commenting, I know coming back to old posts especially on certain occasions or events sometimes put people off, and so I am especially glad that you are reading and commenting 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

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